Relationships.....the REAL rewards

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another," says Proverbs 27:17. In The Message Bible it reads "You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another."

This is something I am really beginning to understand and see at work in my own life. Let me share a bit of my experience in this area.......

I have learned that God puts people in our lives, and marriage is THE best example of this situation, to expose things in us that He wants to deal with. Stuff that needs to go. Stuff that is keeping us from being all we can be. Relationships are set by design to do this in our lives....iron sharpening iron.

Often the thing that really bugs you in that other person, is there ON PURPOSE...to expose something in YOU that needs change. Funny, huh? Don't we often think it's just the other person...it's about them? :)

Your spouse, for example, was hand picked by God to sharpen you and help you to become all that God created you to be. And not just by encouraging, loving, and supporting you. But, a BIG part of that design is for them to do and say things that will cause the ugly things in you to rear their ugly heads and rise to the surface. Because that is when they can be dealt with. There may be no one else in our lives who can bring out those things in us. It's a gift really. :) Really! You can't change what you don't see and acknowledge. Your spouse was given certain habits and traits to expose things in YOU that need work. Iron sharpening iron. One of the main purposes of marriage is that very purpose.

Too often people walk away when it gets hard... or when they start thinking "this person only brings out the worst in me"....well then, stick around...things are just starting to get good!!! Because this is the point that real growth in YOU can begin ...if you embrace it.
When it gets hard, that is when the good stuff is really about to start...don't quit! :)
Now PLEASE understand I am NOT talking about putting up with abuse or anything...please don't think that. I am just talking about the normal conflict that arises in mostly healthy relationships.

If you walk away just when it starts getting hard...you will miss out on the TRUE gift of relationships. I know it's hard to look at the ugly things about yourself, and if it seems it's just this "other person" that brings them out in you, then often the natural response is to just get rid of that person. No!! :) That person is a gift! They are exposing areas in you that are weaknesses...areas God wants to turn into great strengths....areas that need to be brought to the surface so they can be dealt with.

Friendships can do this in our lives too. And this is too often why friendships fall apart. Because conflict is hard.....seeing ugly things in ourselves is hard...dealing with them is even harder....so many times, we just walk away from the friendship. And we miss the real gift God had for us there.

So, allow me to get personal. If you are still reading at this point, you deserve that. :)
I have an amazing friend, one of my dearest and closest. We have been great friends for about 8 years now. Let's just call her Lary :)...hehehehe. Our friendship is very strong and runs very very deep. BUT....this has been NO walk in the park for us. We became super close super fast when we were pretty young, and still pretty immature in a lot of ways. Me much more then her!!! :) The friendship was perfect and just nothing but TONS of fun and a lot of love for the first couple years. So, I guess that was somewhat of a honeymoon phase. But, then life really starting happening, we starting growing and changing in different areas then one another, more friends and different people came into the picture...frustrations started happening...feelings started getting hurt.. and BOY did it start exposing some UGLY things in ME!!!! Wow. My insecurties, areas of low self esteem, my unfair expectations I put on people, and my subtle manipulation ALL reared their UGLY ol' heads BIG time!!!!
This is the point where either one of us could have easily been totally done with each other and just got the heck out of dodge...because it was miserable for us both....mainly just because of ME and my issues!! :) That was a tough season...really tough for us both. We have talked about that time quite a bit. We both said and did things we regret...talked about each other to others...and didn't always treat each other very well. But, this was a real hard time...we didn't always like each other...but we loved each other. We were commited to each other, if for no other reason then our commitment to God.
We pushed through that rough season. LOTS of ugly things in me were exposed. That situtation brought them all right on up to the surface!! I had a choice. I choose to do the work. I chose to stay committed to the relationship and allow God to deal with the things that were surfacing in me that I didn't like to see(and others around me didn't like either!!!!). Because I knew these things had to be dealt with in order for me to really become who God created me to be and to become truly effective in Kingdom work.
I eventually (with great struggle) allowed the relationship to do exactly what is was designed to do...sharpen me....expose things in me that needed to GO. Only then was I able to reap the REAL rewards of relationship. I am so thankful. I'm thankful for that hard time. I am so thankful for Lary :), she is one of my very best friends and knows me SO well, she is a forever friend. And all the other relationships during that season that challenged me (K,J and K)....I love you each so much...should I make up fake names for you too?? :) You 3 know who you are, and I am so thankful for your impact and imprint on my life. I am so thankful for my husband who by beautiful design has a wonderful personality and ways of thinking that expose flaws in me almost daily...thank you sweetie...I am truly thankful you are my "iron". I am ultimately SO thankful to my God, my wonderful Father, who loves me so much and is SO committed to helping me become whole and to live life free... and to be as effective in life as I can be. Thank you Jesus, you never stop working on me...and you are so totally committed to me. You are faithful. Please continue to mold me into the woman You created me to be. I will do my best to continue to embrace Your work and Your hand in my life. Help me to always recognize that it's You and to TRUST. :)
And if any of you reading are saying that you can relate to this... but it ends there... then you probably didn't stick around long enough to let iron sharpen iron. But, I say that with great love and much understanding! :)

James 1:2-4 Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.